Friday, June 10, 2011

34 Weeks and Revelation.

Today I am officially 34 weeks. I can't believe that I am nearing the end of my pregnancy. This pregnancy has been textbook just like my first sons. I told my Dr. at my visit on Wed that I was getting anxiety that this pregnancy is going so well that I'm just waiting for something to go wrong. He chuckled and told me, "You sound just like my wife." lol. So yea, as irrational as it may be I am worried that I might still have complications. He told me not to worry that he has no concerns at all. My BP is GREAT 117/72 last time it was checked. (I've relaxed a bit more) since we are past viability and the baby would be just fine if he was born now. In fact my good friend who was due 18 days before me had her baby 6 weeks early and even though little Charley spent 5 days in the NICU he was never on oxygen and they sent him home last Friday. He's doing great might I add! It's amazing to look back over the past 5 years of my life. I never would have believed 5 years ago, that I would have two amazing additions in my life. I was in my darkest, deepest place and it was not a good place. I was so depressed and things were no going well for me professionally or personally. I hated myself for being so broken.

It wasn't until I decided in 2008, that we were meant to adopt. Nobody will ever be able to tell me that this was not GOD's doing, Joey was meant to come to our family and baby boy was meant to be conceived 6mths after Joseph's arrival. I'd say my life is perfect..right now but that's not quite accurate either. I'm in a much better place, more confident and proud of the woman I am. I don't depend on anyone for anything and I am in a place professionally that allows me to support my family without the need of dual incomes.

It's refreshing to know that at 32 years old I am finally at that place, the good ole "Adult" place. Dh once said to me that I have changed from the woman that he first met 14 years ago..I replied, Of Course, I was 17 and it's only natural and normal for a person to "grow" up. Although Dh and I still struggle to find a balance in our marriage..I can only hope that he decides to walk beside me and not behind me. I don't know what the next 5 years will be like but I know that I am strong enough to handle whatever life throws my way.

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