Thursday, July 24, 2008

Can you say Mountains??

I know that everyone told me how much paperwork was involved but I don't think I really grasped the concept. There is a TON! My letters of recommendation are out and my application is complete, I've gathered all the appropriate employment and insurance verification forms as well as started my self study questions. I've done one set that equated into 11 single typed pages..I don't know how dh (darling husband) is going to get through it. He seems to be overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork involved and I told him that you don't just get to purchase a involves work..kinda like being pregnant for 9 months. I think he got it.

So far I have had nothing but positive support and once we are accepted and our file is open for our homestudy I will tell my parents. I'm sure they will be supportive but it also means that they will need to accept I will not have another biological child. I have 4 chairs at my kitchen table and I always intended to fill each of them. 2 children is the max. I feel so at peace with my decision and can't wait for my journey to get into full swing. I pray that we will have a referral before christmas--(wishing here) and that I can send my news to my family that we are EXPECTING....FROM KOREA. I can't wait for that day. I have begun to have good dreams and I take these a signs from God that everything will work out. I've been crunching numbers and know that we will need to do some fundraising in order to not sink financially through this process. Once the homestudy is complete I plan on checking out books and books at the library and filling my time with applying for grants and scholarships for our adoption. Anyway, back to my dream..I saw in my dream that dh and I had a little boy..he was born February 12th and since my bio son was born on February 13th we were talking about how it would be so easy to have birthday's. Our child arrived home in November..I saw the calendar in my dream!!! Gives me hope--I did not see the year so I can only imagine it was 2009! I just hope it is before ds (darling son) turns 11.

I am so glad that my agency is so responsive..I send emails and get a response the same day!! Not to mention my SW (social worker) lives down the road. I know many of you reading blogs know what these abbriviations mean but in the event that my grandma reads this I thought I would help her out.

So after next week I have my physical and then we send in the application with the first large installment..$1750.00. Then we wait for the approval which could take 7-10 days. I am not worried since our preliminary application was approved and I can't see why we wouldn't be approved for our official application it's just the waiting that I know will be the hardest!

More to come..

Friday, July 18, 2008

Great Idea

One of my online FF members suggested setting up my paypal account to accept donations. I have a paypal account for my ebay transactions and didn't realize how easy it was to set up. Jennifer's right, every little bit helps. I have always felt weird about asking people for donations or for money my entire life. However, this is an event in my life that I plan on opening up to the world about. I am an Infertility Survivor, and I won't let IF hold me back from my dreams. If you choose to donate, please know how forever grateful I am to you. A simple "THANK YOU" is not truly enough and I can't express in words how your generosity is appreciated. God knows that this road is going to be tough and IF treatments were always based on what $$ I had and what I could afford. Adoption is going to be different. My road to my baby is straight and I plan on traveling that road with hope and optimism. My heart is yearning to be a "new" mom again. I have so much love to give that I feel a sense of peace in our decision to adopt. Again, I won't ask for donations but if your heart desires please feel free to add to our adoption fund.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The beginning

I've decided to start this blog for my friends and family. I plan to use this blog as a way to communicate the excitement, struggles, ups and downs of our adoption process. Most will ask why are you adopting? Many of my family and friends do not know of our struggle to have another child. L and I have been through many fertility treatments, IUIs, tests and procedures. Each test has left us with nothing... except that they are all normal. I have been trying to have a 2nd baby since 2006 and along the way I have experienced three pregnancy losses. It is because of these losses that I just can't put myself through anymore treatment. My RE (specialist) tells me I am an excellent candidate for IVF, but there are no guarantees. Adoption has always been something that L and I have wanted to do and it feels right that God has lead us to this journey. L and I decided to pursue International Adoption to add and complete our family. We feel like most expectant parents--we won't know until our referral if we have a boy or a girl. If we have a girl her name will be Alivia Grace (Korean Name here). Yes, we have selected South Korea as our adoption country. We sent our paperwork last Friday to FAC and were notified of our acceptance in the program on Tuesday. I know not everything will be this fast..Our Formal application will come by next week and with our physicals scheduled we should be able to send this application in for approval and start the homestudy process. How exciting! I am not worried too much about the homestudy because L and I know in our hearts that we are good parents and we are good people. I've been corresponding with our SW for the past year and this feels is the time. We carefully weighed our options and this is not our PLAN B, but is actually our Plan A. IVF would be our last resort. Our SW, Cher also said that our timing was perfect as placements for 2008-2009 are still open. They had been closed and opened back up because they expect more referrals then they initially thought! We could have our baby in 2009! Now many of you will ask lots of questions and I'll try and answer a few. Our SW has been doing this since 1986 and has two grown Korean daughters. This has given me a lot peace knowing that she has been through this many times. Our child will most likely be 8-12mths before joining our family. Korea is trying to phase out International Adoption and promote domestic adoption within, so children must be 5mths old at referral. L and I are absolutely fine with this as we have both had the opportunity to be pregnant and raise a newborn, for this we are forever grateful to god.

L, myself and C all had a family talk and given that C is only 9yrs old I wanted to find out how he felt about International Adoption, we laughed when he said, "Will this baby be my step brother or sister?" after some brief explanation and laughs together.. as a family we decided that International Adoption was right for us. I feel blessed that C is old enough to understand and his excitement is comforting. I have told my co-worker at this point as I need a reference letter and I was dying to tell someone. She has been a great comfort through my losses and treatments. I have not shared this news with family or friends other then my FF friends. I want to wait until the acceptance of our homestudy and when we are "officially" waiting or "paper pregnant." This is mostly to avoid the questions, "Are we there yet." This journey is going to be long and has ups and downs along the way, I can accept that I will not have control and must take one step at a time. It is because of this, I wish to hold onto our "secret" until our approval is granted. I hope those of you that I have waited to tell understand. Lastly, YES, this is a huge financial commitment and L and I have talked long and hard about this aspect. We have it figured out and with a little creative fundraising hope to offset some our our costs. My employer with contribute 3K and the Federal Tax credit will help immensely, still we will incur some debt but as any mother will tell you, "It's all worth it in the end."

I hope that you will join me on my journey and support my family as we GROW.

Lots of love,