Wednesday, October 7, 2009

It's official-I'm old!

Well it's October already and I can't believe the kind of summer we had. It was so cool this summer that we didn't get a lot of camping in. In fact we camped for 1.5 days, yeah just 1.5 days. So sad! Our family LOVES to camp and kayak and be outside and this summer it was so cool and rainy. Fall is not shaping up to be any better. I actually started looking for one of those bike pedals you put under your desk for excersise because lord knows I can't walk in a down pour!

So what does this title mean on my blog? Well it's official I've reached the I'm getting old and my body is changing stage (or realization). I officially have stretch marks that will never go away. Although I am ever so thankful for those stretch marks because they mark the arrival of my son. The other part I am not so thankful about and that is my first varicose vein on my thigh. My mother has terrible veins and I always knew that I would probably get them too. But at 30? That's seems way too early and let's face it I'm still concerned with the way I look. I know a lot of it has to do with my job. I sit for TOO LONG everyday!9hrs too long! I try to get up often and go upstairs or take a walk but it's often not possible-and lets see, oh yeah the other reason is I need to lose 20lbs..atleast. I plan on closing my eyes when I get on the scale tomorrow for my lovely yearly dr visit. But regardless of all of this I am still happy to be me! With all that I have been through in the past 4 years to be here today (and everyday is still a challenge) to be optomistic is so worth the journey I have traveled.

I figure our adoption referral HAS to be close like anyday now..hint hint. It's been 10mths and counting since we have been waiting.(Just a shout out to my agency CAN YOU HEAR ME, I'M READY) I can't believe how this time went kinda fast EXCEPT now time seems to be standing still. Baby where are you? I love you so much and I don't even know you? I ask myself what will I be like when I finally get THE CALL? Now what is this all about? Well THE CALL is the one that your social worker calls and tells you they have a baby for you and you review the call..It's similar to a 20wk ultrasound I guess. I mean you know you are going to have a baby but when you find out if it is a boy or girl it somehow feels MORE real. Dh and I were talking last night about camping with a little one next year! I'm so excited!!! With his job we have flexibility to not have to use daycare as much as we did with C and we can REALLY bond as a family. I won't be able to take 4 months off work--but I do plan on taking 12 weeks and I am very excited to have 3 months to be with my babies!!

I'm thankful to be working but I so wish I could be a stay at home mommy. I'm jealous of moms that get to see their children every morning and dance around in their PJ's. I hated having to wake my baby up get him dressed and shuffle him off to daycare for the WHOLE day. I know I will wonder what my baby is doing all day while I am at work. Granted I know that my employment has provided so many wonderful things and I am so thankful but in the end it really is just "Stuff." I think so many working parents feel this way and I know I struggle everyday with it.

So any adoption updates? No we are still WAITING.....tick tock tick tock