Friday, February 26, 2010

Way to Go South Korea

It brought tears to my eyes. Her performace was emotional and mesmorizing. I was secretly rooting for you! You did it! You brought home the Gold! Kim Yu-Na you were graceful and I somehow felt more connected to my son by watching you. I could only imagine his foster family gathered around to watch this amazing event.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Have you heard anything yet?

NO! I want to scream that answer to everyone that asks me..some ask me daily and I am so annoyed with the question. My gosh if I heard something I would SCREAM it to everyone. I hate this part-I'm so annoyed with this process right now and waiting for my I600 to be processed. Why does it take so long? We have I600A approval and now we are going on 7 weeks since we had our I600 submitted. It's annoying that it took 15 days to get it to the USCIS office and then it takes two weeks to send a receipt and another 2 weeks to send the acknowledgement letter. Why? It's paperwork that is all! You have everything you need and I have been very diligent about doing my part..why can't I be shown the same respect? Today he is 8 months and 5 days old and now it's been two weeks since my last "letter" from USCIS. How long will it take to process? I was hoping he would be home end of March but at this rate there is NO way. I wanted to meet him when he was 9 months but now it's probably closer to 11 months..I am so grouchy that I can't be fun to be around right now. So honey, I apologize in advance. I can't focus and I stalk my mailbox. I even get mad a dh for checking it before I get home. Crazy! I somehow think that if I check it the approval notice will be in there. I can only pray that he has everything he needs on the Korean side since the US side is so unbelievable slow...I've said it all along, once I get through this process I am writing letters to the USCIS Director and to the President offering suggestion of how to streamline the process and a way to save the American Government hundreds of thousands of dollars at the same time.

So, for today. Have you heard anything yet I know is not a cruel way to rub it in that I haven't heard anything, I know you genuinly care, but I am so sad inside that this question forces me to think about my son, my son who is doing amazing things that I will never see in Korea. My son who I yearn for and who I love so deeply it pains me. I only pray that this process moves quickly..we get that I-171 and our son comes home..sometime very soon.

Love to all-and sorry for being so grumpy.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

To My Valentine Babies

I've never written my birth story I feel compelled to write it.

Almost 11 years ago I was induced to give birth to my oldest son. I remember it like it was yesterday. We arrived at the hospital at 8:00am, I had been up since 5:00 that morning. I was excited and scared at the same time. I was so ready to have my baby considering he was already 10 days overdue. I was asked to pick what day I wanted to be induced and it was to be Friday or Monday. I chose Friday considering I thought I'd have him in less than 24hrs and the 12th seemed like a good day.

My doctor checked me at 10pm on the 12th and indicated I was only dialated to a 4. I was crushed. My spirit was broken not to mention I was tired and hungry. We asked when we might be ready and she (my doctor) replied by 3:00am. OH MAN! That seemed so far away. I couldn't do it anymore, my mind felt broken and my body was exhausted and so at this point I asked for an epidural. Once receiving the epidural I was able to fall asleep and before I knew it it was time to push. It took me an hour of solid pushing to get the little guy out but he was born on Feb 13, 1999 at 3:00am on the dot. Weighing in at 7 pounds 12 oz with a 13 inch head. Imagine my surprise when 3 has become his lucky number. He was also born with a unique birthmark on his chest. It's a small upside down he was and truly is my Valentine Baby. The minute he was born he could lift his head and he turned to look right at my dh. This is a moment that we will always treasure as a family. I was a young mom, only 20 at the time, however I can say that this blessed event was more powerful then anything I have ever experienced.

Today, I reflect on his birth story, realizing that it will probably be my only birth story and I feel saddened because I don't and can't share this story with Joseph. I am hoping that his arrival story will be one magical moment and a moment that only I can have with my son. This moment with and is his "birth" story. The love I feel in my heart is so similar to the love I felt when C was born. I long for him to be home, I hurt wondering if he is okay I pray that his foster family is loving him as much as I already love him. I lay in bed at night dreaming of what he might be doing, how his voice sounds. Does he have his first tooth yet? Will he be home in time for his first Easter? Mothers Day? Fathers Day? I feel empty not having my family complete and I can only hope that our paperwork gets processed quickly. Come on USCIS, process his Visa and get my son home.