Thursday, July 17, 2008

The beginning

I've decided to start this blog for my friends and family. I plan to use this blog as a way to communicate the excitement, struggles, ups and downs of our adoption process. Most will ask why are you adopting? Many of my family and friends do not know of our struggle to have another child. L and I have been through many fertility treatments, IUIs, tests and procedures. Each test has left us with nothing... except that they are all normal. I have been trying to have a 2nd baby since 2006 and along the way I have experienced three pregnancy losses. It is because of these losses that I just can't put myself through anymore treatment. My RE (specialist) tells me I am an excellent candidate for IVF, but there are no guarantees. Adoption has always been something that L and I have wanted to do and it feels right that God has lead us to this journey. L and I decided to pursue International Adoption to add and complete our family. We feel like most expectant parents--we won't know until our referral if we have a boy or a girl. If we have a girl her name will be Alivia Grace (Korean Name here). Yes, we have selected South Korea as our adoption country. We sent our paperwork last Friday to FAC and were notified of our acceptance in the program on Tuesday. I know not everything will be this fast..Our Formal application will come by next week and with our physicals scheduled we should be able to send this application in for approval and start the homestudy process. How exciting! I am not worried too much about the homestudy because L and I know in our hearts that we are good parents and we are good people. I've been corresponding with our SW for the past year and this feels is the time. We carefully weighed our options and this is not our PLAN B, but is actually our Plan A. IVF would be our last resort. Our SW, Cher also said that our timing was perfect as placements for 2008-2009 are still open. They had been closed and opened back up because they expect more referrals then they initially thought! We could have our baby in 2009! Now many of you will ask lots of questions and I'll try and answer a few. Our SW has been doing this since 1986 and has two grown Korean daughters. This has given me a lot peace knowing that she has been through this many times. Our child will most likely be 8-12mths before joining our family. Korea is trying to phase out International Adoption and promote domestic adoption within, so children must be 5mths old at referral. L and I are absolutely fine with this as we have both had the opportunity to be pregnant and raise a newborn, for this we are forever grateful to god.

L, myself and C all had a family talk and given that C is only 9yrs old I wanted to find out how he felt about International Adoption, we laughed when he said, "Will this baby be my step brother or sister?" after some brief explanation and laughs together.. as a family we decided that International Adoption was right for us. I feel blessed that C is old enough to understand and his excitement is comforting. I have told my co-worker at this point as I need a reference letter and I was dying to tell someone. She has been a great comfort through my losses and treatments. I have not shared this news with family or friends other then my FF friends. I want to wait until the acceptance of our homestudy and when we are "officially" waiting or "paper pregnant." This is mostly to avoid the questions, "Are we there yet." This journey is going to be long and has ups and downs along the way, I can accept that I will not have control and must take one step at a time. It is because of this, I wish to hold onto our "secret" until our approval is granted. I hope those of you that I have waited to tell understand. Lastly, YES, this is a huge financial commitment and L and I have talked long and hard about this aspect. We have it figured out and with a little creative fundraising hope to offset some our our costs. My employer with contribute 3K and the Federal Tax credit will help immensely, still we will incur some debt but as any mother will tell you, "It's all worth it in the end."

I hope that you will join me on my journey and support my family as we GROW.

Lots of love,

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